Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

What’s Going On Down There?

It’s been three months since our last haircut—on our head, that is. Thankfully, we’re much more confident in our skills keeping things neat and tidy below the waist.

And now that we have the Lawnmower 3.0 from Manscaped, we could perch ourselves outside naked with our legs in the air and easily win “Yard of the Month” from our neighborhood association for our lovely, lovely bush.

The Lawnmower 3.0 (plus so much more) could be yours FOR FREE!

The newly redesigned Lawnmower 3.0 features SkinSafe Technology that makes it virtually impossible to nick your nads, shank your shaft or prick your peen. (A welcome relief to anyone who’s ever tried manscaping with a traditional razor.)

It also features a waterproof design for the device itself and its charger, plus a lithium-ion battery that keeps things charged for a really long time. An adjustable guard offers two different trim lengths, or you can remove it altogether to go bare as you dare.

You can even subscribe to receive replacement blade refills every three months if you’re a frequent Trimmer of Taints.

You could win this entire Perfect Package and soon have your own perfect package!

The Lawnmower by itself costs $69.99 (including free shipping), but for a full suite of nether-region necessities, opt for the Perfect Package for a mere $20 more. In this kit, you’ll receive the Lawnmower 3.0, Crop Preserver anti-chafing ball deodorant, Crop Reviver ball toner spray (nobody wants blemishes there, either!) and a set of three disposable shaving mats to collect all the hair.

Plus, right now they’re adding a free travel/storage bag called The Shed, as well as a pair of anti-chafing, cooling boxer briefs.

Best of all, they’ve given us three Perfect Package sets to give away to a trio of lucky He Said Magazine subscribers!

If you’re still self-isolating like us and want to Treat Yo’ Self (and anyone stuck at home with you that likes to visit the land below the belt), a cleaned-up crotch will make you feel a thousand times better about yourself. And while you’re at it, feel free to trim your chest, pits and neck hair, too.

Because right about now Sasquatch is ready to send you a cease and desist for stealing his look.

The Perfect Package 3.0
$89.99 ($157.94 value)