Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Patriotism, Prudence & Pancakes

I’m going to take a conservative view of things this week.

Patriotism.  Since Sunday, I have been asked repeatedly to weigh in, as a well-known Babatist, on the Celebrate Freedom service at First Baptist here in Dallas.  After much prayer and supplication, here are my thoughts.  I am not at all surprised that a political figure spoke from the pulpit of a tax-exempt church, especially this church.  I am more interested in the fact that in introducing Brother Pence, Brother Jeffress proclaimed Brother Trump as “the most faith-friendly President in history.”  (Jimmy Carter is holding on line 1.)  Also, the congregation waving American flags and leaping to their feet at the proclamation.  But most importantly, an entire choir, seated high above the pulpit, belting out musical patriotism without facial coverings and spewing spittle all over each other and the orchestra below them.  I am prophesying an influx of new COVID-19 cases in two weeks which will be cloaked in hospital gowns sewn by Betsy Ross.

Prudence.  As a Babatist, I have been keenly aware of the alleged conservative majority on the Supreme Court.  Evangelicals have been dancing (not the Babatists) for joy at the prospect of having their core morality beliefs brought back to the judicial system.  As of late, if you listen carefully, you can hear the wailing and gnashing of teeth from the moral dance floor as certain of the avowed conservative judges have actually made rulings based on the law, regardless of what was expected of them.  Abortion, sodomite rights and immigrant status have all been upheld with the help of a judicious conservative.  What next??  I’m afraid that some activist judges are going to extend religious liberty to non-Christians.  Lord, help us!

Pancakes.  Finally, the great state of Mississippi, land of hoop skirts and white sheets, has moved to re-design their state flag without the confederate “stars and bars” displayed therein.  The symbolism of this action is deafening.  However, I fear that long held beliefs in the hearts and minds of many melatonin-free Mississippians are going to cause a run on old flags, pancake mix, rice and statuary in the coming weeks.  Let us pray.