Salvation is at hand and we must be awake to these concerns.
Care. I have been canvassing fellow Christians as to their unparalleled devotion to our less than traditional President. So many have deemed Brother Trump to be the most faith-friendly President in history. Others marvel at his path from crude sinner to venerated crude sinner. I wanted to hear personal stories as to why the fervor and admiration. More often than not, it all boiled down to the simple fact that “Trump cares about the babies.” Yes, praise the Lord, Brother Trump has not spoken of any plan to criminalize abortion. This tenet reigns above all other politicians for its morality. Of course, once these spared fetuses are born to life, the Christian response would seemingly be continued support for these children as the parents struggle and/or fail to raise them, as opposed to a swift back turning to save the next unborn soul. The way Brother Trump cares for babies in cages never seems to come up. Let us pray.
Cards. In other news, it has been revealed that Secretary of State Mike Pompeo’s wife, Sister Susan Pompeo, has been reported to have asked State Department staff to help send personal family Christmas cards. I don’t really have an opinion on the protocol for such a use of taxpayer money. What I find important to all Christians is that she was sending out Christmas cards. Had she requested assistance with Holiday cards, the faithful would have raised their voices in condemnation. And you can put a stamp on that.
Chris. I have been consumed of late with a mission of great urgency. Brother Chris Evans, actor, celebrity, captain of America, liberal and Buddhist of great outer beauty, “accidentally” shared a picture via Instantgram which caused great consternation. While the now deleted photo of his “member” is making international news, Brother Evans has used the attention to encourage others to vote. I’m unclear on the connection here. However, in my duty as a defender or morality, I am tirelessly searching the interwebs for some saved copy of this photo so that I may make appropriate judgement. It has been purported to be an organ of Goliath proportions so this is no small mission on my part. When found, I am certain to fall to my knees in prayer. If any of you, dear readers, have come across this holy grail, I exhort you to share in faith with me. Amen.