Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Stars, Skivvies & Stimulus.

Christmas prayers.

Stars.  I am sick and tired of all of this fuss this week about the alleged Christmas star.  So Jupiter and Saturn appearing together as one big star. Big deal. Jupiter and Saturn didn’t even exist when Jesus was born. Besides, scripture tells us that one was a star in the east. The one this week was in the west. This is just a bunch of hullabaloo tied into the pagan celebration of the winter solstice. I’m here to talk about Christmas, which was an original idea not influenced by any previous religious or pagan stories. Now, when we get a super big star in the east again, I’m gonna be looking for some virgin births.  Gloria N. Eggshellseas.

Skivvies.  My faithful readers will recall that I made note of the Russian opposition leader, Brother Alexey Navalny, who was allegedly poisoned via his coffee before getting on a plane. Brother Navalny has survived and has craftily discovered exactly how he was poisoned. By posing as a KGB leader, he telephoned the man responsible for planting the poison and got him to admit that the poison was sprinkled in Brother Navalny’s underwear. The poison was then activated by body sweat.  This all just makes me gag.  Even though the Lord has blessed Alexey with beauty, I certainly don’t want to know how somebody got into his skivvies, much less think about sweat in his nether regions.  But I will say this……in August I claimed that I was going to be in prayer before drinking my next cup of coffee. Now it looks like I’m gonna have to keep a closer eye on my pantyhose.  Amen?

Stimulus.  I have had to cringe every time I’ve seen something in the news about a stimulus package. That just sounds filthy. I know how some of you like to have your packages stimulated and we just don’t need to discuss that. However, in the interest of governmental fiscal responsibility, let us give thanks for this latest round of financial stimulation.  Our government is truly showing Christian charity by bestowing $600 to each American citizen which is intended to stimulate economic growth. I just pray that everyone gives $60 of that to their church (or me) in a tithe and offering. We in the Lords work need to be stimulated as well.  But I have to admit, all of this does feel reminiscent of some historical powerful people looking down on the less fortunate. We can eat a lot of cake for $600.