Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Guilty. Gates. Greek.

Circle the prayer wagons!

Guilty.  The GOP (Repugnicans) are truly at war within.  Politicians once seen as conservative are now pariahs in their own party for being too “liberal.”  The latest to hang in the balance is Sister Liz Cheney (not to be confused with her sibling, Lez Cheney).  Because Sister Cheney has dared to defy former president he-who-shall-not-be-named, she stands to lose her position as conference chair, the #3 person in the House.  Accused of “not carrying the message”, Liz is being shamed and made guilty from within.  I just find this troubling.  When the daughter of Brother Cheney the Dick is being hailed as a liberal, these are truly end times.

Gates.  Proving that money cannot buy happiness, Brother and Sister Gates (Bill and Melinda) are falling to the sin of divorce.  Sinners, I ask you to pray about what it is that could cause such a split when $130 billion dollars is at stake.  Listen, I don’t know where B and M’s church membership is, but I can attest that they are living mostly Christ-like lives when it comes to helping others.  Their charitable giving will continue post-marital bliss and I believe the world is better for their generosity.  In the meantime, I’m on my knees about convincing one of them to tithe 10% to my ministry so that I can compare jets with Brother Osteen and Brother Copeland!

Greek.  The Bible tells us in Galatians 3:28 that “There is neither Jew nor Greek . . . for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”  Now, Lord knows I’ve bemoaned the passing of many a Jew, but let us turn our grief to the Greek this week.  Sister Olympia Dukakis (now THAT’s Greek!) left this worldly life to reign in her own personal Elysium.  What a gift she was to cinematic history.  Although she was a first cousin to a Demoncrat Presidential Candidate, her talent more than made up for that unfortunate relation.  As a woman of gentility myself, I shall ever be endeared to her role in STEEL MAGNOLIAS.  She single-handedly gave me carte blanche to verbally harass those deserving, kill my loved ones with sarcasm, and slug the occasional reprobate.  Let us pray.