Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Sojourn, Solstice & Sodomite.

Refreshed and ready to preach.

Sojourn.  Brothers and Sister, I hope you’ll forgive the absence of this column last week.  I was away on a personal sojourn celebrating my birthday.  The Lord has granted me another year of abundant life to remain on this earth and spread the Word.  I will not reveal my age, as I don’t want to cause anyone to stumble in their journey by prophesying as to the length of time I may or may not have on this earth.  Consider me an eternal thorn in your flesh.  Glory!

Solstice.  As we get down to this week’s concerns, why does the news have to report on pagan activities?  My wall calendar reminds me each year that June 21 is the first day of summer and the day with the longest amount of sunlight.  However, non-Christian heathens celebrate is as the “Summer Solstice” and dance around a bunch of rocks in England.  We just don’t need to know that.  Perhaps that’s why summer is always so hot.  Those heretics need to be reminded of the rising temperatures they will surely meet at the gates of Hades!  Let us pray.

Sodomite.  My knowledge of sports is limited, at best.  However, some news from the sports world transcends gridiron knowledge.  A young man with the Las Vegas Raiders football team has publicly admitted to being a sodomite, making him the first active player in the NFL to do so.  This is truly going to sully the reputation of this American pastime!  I just have so many questions.  Will his teammates think twice about a congratulatory pat on the hind end?  What do they mean by “active?”  As a defensive lineman, does this mean that every retort he makes will have to be a way of defending his lifestyle?  Just gag me.  It is imperative that I hie unto his side for a ministry of healing “touch down” there.  Perhaps fall to my knees before him to offer my own oral testimony.  Hallelujah!