Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

A Bitch Slap By Any Other Name

This has been a banner week for clarifications or, to put it less delicately, bitch slaps.  

There was U. S. District Judge Linda Parker delivering a cheek-stinging slap to Sidney Powell, Lin Wood, and a host of other pro-Trump lawyers for the suit they filed in Michigan accusing public officials of the illegal manipulation of ballots to get Joe Biden elected president.  As a result of that filing, described as “a historic and profound abuse of the judicial process,” Judge Parker ordered disciplinary sanctions against Powell et al., including referral “for investigation and possible suspension or disbarment.”  

Coverage of Judge Parker’s ruling was described so frequently as “blistering” and “scathing” that the adjectives “scalding” and “ferocious” are thinking of filing an EEOC complaint.

In COVID-19 news, the FDA’s full approval of the Pfizer vaccine is leaving even less turf on which the vaccine resistant can try to stand.  The American Medical Association, the American Nurses Association, and the American Hospital Association have all supported the approval in a joint statement, making it harder to assert credibly that the vaccine is some kind of “guvmint” or Big Pharma conspiracy theory.

On the heels of this approval, more employers and organizations are expected to mandate vaccinations.  Companies which are reticent about an outright mandate might take Delta Airline’s path by increasing the premium for health insurance for theIR unvaccinated employees.  In Delta’s case, that amounts to $200 a month to cover the cost to the airline for the hospitalizations from COVID-19 of those workers.  (Delta, which self-insures its employees, tagged an average of $40,000 for those hospital stays.)  Perhaps this is less of a bitch slap and more of a clarification.

In other news this week, Nancy Pelosi once again corralled some recalcitrant congressional Democrats who threatened to vote against the $3.5 trillion budget resolution if the bipartisan infrastructure bill wasn’t voted on first.  Oh, these silly Democrats.  Have they still not figured out this isn’t the first Pelosi rodeo?

Speaker Pelosi committed to taking up that bill no later than September 27 in exchange for the needed support for the budget resolution, or as Wimpy would say, “I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.”  The speaker said she planned to take up the bill next month anyway because of transportation programs set to expire on September 30.  “So, we’re talking about a couple of days earlier.”

Downplaying the deal to move the Biden agenda forward, Speaker Pelosi described the agreement as a “clarification” on the time frame.  That’s sweet and all, but was there a slapping sound coming from behind closed doors?

The final bitch slap of the week comes from the unlikely world of OnlyFans.  This is not to be confused with ceiling fans, box fans, or those fans that Southern belles flirted with back in the day.  The subscription site, which has built its business in large part on “sexually explicit content,” had announced plans to drop that salacious stuff for content more acceptable to “our banking partners and payout providers.”  Yeah, blame it all on Mastercard.

The blowback from sex workers and their clients and supporters was quick and decisive.  Within days, OnlyFans reversed itself after feeling the sting of that bitch slap.  But a number of those sex workers/creators just bitch-slapped the other cheek by leaving and not coming back.  As one said, “already moved.  Damage already done.”  

Less delicately, another creator warned her colleagues “to not put all theirs t**s and d**ks in one basket.”  Sage, if somewhat obvious advice, as needing multiple baskets to put one’s stuff into seems essential to success in this particular field.

According to a Forbes headline from a couple of years ago, “Porn is the only streaming service that really matters” and “will outlast them all.”  We’re way beyond the “I want my MTV” era, and a business largely built on distributing erotic content should have known better.  As we say in Texas, you dance with the one that brung you.

Hopefully, this bitch slap pattern will continue, as there are a whole bunch of other folks who need to get what Sissy Spacek gave Marisa Tomei.