Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Texas, Texas, Texas!

Pray for my home state.  I’m already on my knees.

Texas.  As a Christian and Babatist, I’m so grateful to have my ministry based here in Texas.  I can always depend on our state government to err on the side of biblical morality time and again.  Err, being the operative word here.  Our esteemed Governor, Brother Greg Abbott, has been draining the ink on his legislative Bic pen this past week.  In fact, on September 1, many new laws went into effect.  How many you ask?  666.  Lord, speak to us.  666.  The mark of the beast.  Surely there is a message for us here.  It seems that Governor G.A. is trying to stand for something here, but we all know that’s not going to happen.  Let us pray.

Texas.  One of the biggest legal happenings in Texas involves the very controversial topic of abortion.  Listen, I’ll go on record as saying I’m not pro-abortion.  But I’m also not keen on being told what I can or cannot do with my innards.  Regardless, my beloved Texas now has the most stringent laws against abortion in the entire country.  Not only is it illegal, but one could get a $10000 payout if one reports somebody getting an abortion or somebody even helping someone get an abortion.  I’m praising God that our dear Governor has come to save the day in the cases of rape resulting in pregnancy.  He has declared that he is going to eliminate rape.  With that kind of power, I daresay he will be healing his own paralysis post-haste.  In related news, Mexico’s Supreme Court has voted to decriminalize abortion.  I predict a crowd at the border….both those in need of Mexican natal care and those taking names for a potential $10000 windfall.

Texas.  The other headline-grabbing new law in Texas has to do with voting rights.  I rejoice that I live in America where we have the right to vote in open elections.  Texas, however, has decreed that this is a right with specific limits.  With all the California liberals moving to Texas as well as the myriad voters of color leaning left, the Texas GOP has sprung into action to ensure that voting is made most difficult for those who are not wealthy, white people with lots of free time.  Since it’s becoming more and more difficult for Repubs to win elections fair and square, the rules must be changed.  I’m already praying about the certain eventual laws which will limit voting to country club members and people with a verified stock portfolio.  Lord Jesus, quickly come.