Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Elegance, Eloquence & Elephants.

Oscar was particularly noteworthy this year.  Just a few comments here.

Elegance. Clearly, these overpaid celebrities are given a budget for clothing. I mean, all these tarted up women in designer clothes seem to have enough. I really don’t think those gowns come from Target. It’s amazing what a lengthy career will buy you. However, one attendee apparently hasn’t made quite enough money to afford the proper attire. Precious Timothee Chalamet must have spent his lunch money on that elegant jacket, leaving nothing to purchase a simple collared shirt. My heart goes out to him in his destitution. At least he’s not behaving like a certain tennis player who wore something that all but allows her to breast feed in public! It is my duty to help Brother Timmy find some nice clothes, so I’m planning a mission trip to take him shopping and sit with him while he tries on some nice things. It’s a ministry.

Eloquence. Sodomites far and wide nearly had heart failure at the final award presentation when Lisa Minooli rolled on to stage with Sister Gaga. Such icons for the gays. I daresay that if Miss Midler and Sister Streisand had joined the twosome, there would have been faintings of biblical proportions. May God bless the eloquence of Sister Lady G for her ministry of care and hand holding to the Rainbow Daughter. It is my prayer that, when age and confusion consume me, precious Lord, take my hand. And if You’re busy, let it be Bradley Cooper. Amen.

Elephants.  So let’s turn our thoughts to all things pachyderm.  As with any spectacle of greatness, an elephant needs to be trotted out on stage.  And there was a big one in the room.  In response to an onstage comment of judgmental origin, the Fresh Prince made an ass of himself and single-handedly emptied the room of its air by trotting to the dais to slap Brother Chris Rock, leaving fresh prints on his cheeks.  Stage mics picked up Brother Smith muttering something while coming up the stairs, rumored to be “why can’t you give me the respect that I’m entitled to?”  My counsel to Brother Rock is this.  If you’re going to make such commentary, cloak it in the superiority of your status like I do.  It is my duty as a Babatist to remind others that I’m just a little bit better no matter who you are.