Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Grand, Gas & Grease.

Lord, hear these supplications.

Grand.  This headline caught my eye:  “Prince Charles delivers Queen’s Speech.”  This can be read on so many different levels.  Is Prince Charles a Queen?  Is Prince Charles now a courier delivering messages?  I came to realize that Sister Queen Betty is under the weather and was unable to give her grand speech at the opening of Parliament.  I do find it interesting though.  Did Brother Prince Charles speak in a pinched nasal tone like his mother?  And if not, were Sisters Olivia Colman, Helen Mirren or Carol Burnett not available?  I’m just curious.

Gas.  Lord help us all.  The price of gasoline is at an all-time high.  It is becoming almost cost-prohibitive to carry on with my ministry.  I have even considered finding a more economical car, but I just hate to give up on my Rambler.  If the Lord does not see fit to provide for lower costs per gallon, I may return to travel of biblical proportions.  I’m going to need a good pair of sandals, someone to wash my feet, and maybe even a jackass for longer trips.  And I’m billing Exxon for the donkey.

Grease.  Speaking of fuel, news from aviation is showing human desperation.  It has been made known to me via the media that airlines are seeking used grease from nationwide restaurants to develop into sustainable aviation fuel.  I beg your pardon?  You mean to tell me that my next flight to a foreign mission might be jettisoned with Wessonality?  I’ve chastised many a church member for bringing chicken to a covered dish supper fried in used grease.  Now the airlines want to hoard that??  I just don’t know what to say.  I fear there’s going to be a run on Crisco, the likes of which haven’t been seen since Loretta Lynn first hollered its praises.  I can hear it now……”Fly Southwest, it’ll do you proud ever’ time!”