Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Oh, The Horror

Actual conversion therapy camps: scary as shit.

Horror movies about conversion therapy camps: not so much.

Normally, we only recommend our favorite things to eat, drink, watch and do here at He Said Dallas, but sometimes we feel the need to save you an hour and 45 minutes of your precious time.

Tomorrow, the much-anticipated horror flick, They/Them (They Slash Them, get it?) takes a wonderfully clever title and goes downhill from there.

The Peacock release does little if anything to transform the slasher genre in any way other than crowbar a bunch of stereotypical characters that are supposed to somehow come across as anything but stereotypical. It’s like The Breakfast Club with a lot of red, corn syrup blood.

The campers check in…but will they live to check out?

The movie’s slow to get going, and, well, not very scary in the slightest. Even the killer’s ho-hum mask doesn’t frighten much at all. We had such high hopes for this movie, but if we can save you the struggle to reach the entirely predictable ending, we’ve done something good today.

The trailer, however, is far better. So we encourage you to watch it, fill in the blanks for yourself and revisit Halloween, Friday the 13th or Scream for a few more jump-scares than you’ll find in They/Them.

Or catch star Kevin Bacon in the short-lived-but-terrifying TV series, The Following.

Now that’s some scary shit.

Streams Friday, August 5

Photo courtesy of NBCUniversal