Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Herschel, Hearing & Harangues.

Hear ye, Hear ye!

Herschel. I am in prayer for Brother Herschel Walker. After a career of playing for God’s favorite football team, he has found himself as an anointed candidate for public office in the state of Georgia. (I am unclear on the journey to that place, but it’s probably just as well.) The power of passion in God’s Own Party lifts up even the most soiled of sinners, as we have laid witness over the recent past. Alas, Brother Walker seems to have suffered one too many faulty helmets in his athletic career. Some of his memories have been aborted. Forgetting a “payable to” instrument issued in the past to a grocery store is human. Not remembering a personal payment to a past paramour seems less likely. Trying to pass off a prop police badge as proof of his status in law enforcement also seems to be a result of one too many tackles. Alas, the poor man is losing grasp of reality, but the voters are lifting him up for victory. Quite frankly, I’m more concerned that he CLEARLY has a sodomite offspring mincing his way into 15 minutes of fame!

Hearing. Scripture is coming alive at your local CVS. Mark 4:9 recounts the words of our Lord where He says, “Whoever has ears to hear, let them hear.” These prophetic words accompany the news that hearing aids are now available over-the-counter without a prescription. Hosanna! The convenience of this development cannot be overstated. However, I predict some possible ramifications. A woman in my church was first in line to pick up a Beltone on Aisle 14. Not being sure of the quality of her purchase, I asked “What kind is it?” To which she replied with the current time. There are some kinks to be worked out of this. Keep your ears to the ground.

Harangues. Strife and division on The Great White Way! Broadway stages are becoming platforms for brazen performers to issue unscripted harangues. There is a particular diva for whom such edicts are becoming second nature. Emboldened by this belter’s brazenness, others are doing demolition on the fourth wall to create a more open floor plan. When such behavioral modifications result in ill-advised results, the finger of blame becomes omnidirectional. We are witnessing such a rotating finger even as a write. The latest casualty of this blame game has come in the form is a cryptic social media post from the aforementioned “second nature diva” proclaiming herself to now be without equity. I shall not mentioning names, but I am praying that some young ingénue in the Big Apple will soon be performing in a union tour with a name that rhymes with Catty NuTone.