Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Woke, Water & Wesley.

Awaken ye to the dry lands of unity.

Woke. There is much banter about the use of the term “woke” in these present times. While the liberals use it proudly as a badge of honor, fine Christian conservatives mock the term as an insult. The Lord has called on me to do some further research into this phenomenon. In its current usage, being woke was coined by black people to be alert to racism. Through time it has been used by many people to be awakened and aware of justice and inequality. And now, it is being used by Christian conservative politicians to show disdain for liberals inciting social justice positions in politics. I feel the need to refer to the Bible regarding this discussion. The idea of being awakened is mentioned 25 times in the Bible. In each scripture, it is an exhortation to God’s people to be better, to be ready for salvation. Therefore, I say unto you, those who are “woke” are living in concordance with Scripture, while those who mock the word and refuse to be awake shall miss out on the Kingdom of God. The Word of the Lord.

Water. I am concerned about the plight of lakes in the American Southwest. Lake Mead in Nevada is only 27% full and at such a low water level, dead bodies are being revealed. Lake Powell in Utah is only 26% full and has receded to such low levels that sacred Indian lands flooded to make the lake are now being recovered. I fear other states in the area will be afflicted with such atrocities. Indeed, neighboring Arizona has lost Kari Lake, in spite of a 49.5% capacity. Reports say that, with the loss of Kari Lake, acres of idiocy and untruths have been brought to the surface. Oddly, a lone man in a dress stands on the dried up remains of Kari Lake and sings from The Barber of Seville. This is all truly a drag. Let us pray.

Wesley. When it comes to religion, I try to keep my eyes upon the one true faith which, of course, is Babatist. Occasionally, I will stoop to swat the Catholics or lean to slap the Episcopalians at the bar. This week, I have to really grit my teeth and talk about the church across the street from most Babatist Tabernacles, the METHODISTS! In the late 60s, the Methodist Church, in order to form a more perfect union, merged into the United Methodist Church, creating a bunch of UMC acronyms across this land. Now, some of this unity is splitting like the curtain in the temple when the Lord gave up the ghost. While these dissenting congregations are sketchy on the reasons for their departure into disunity, I daresay many are upset with the growing number of sodomites and lesbyterians weaving their way into John Wesley’s robes. I wish these churches well. As they continue to tweak their status, I pray that the new name of these congregations will reflective of their mission. I’d hate to have a new arm of Methodists call the Meth Heads. Glory to God on HIGH!