Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Antarctica. Argentina. Ass.

I have been away on an extended mission trip.  Let us return to these issues at hand.

Antarctica.  I have just returned from my most distant mission trip to date.  I traveled to Antarctica where I ministered to many souls, as well as various wildlife.  The Lord saw fit to show me visions of climate change as I trudged through parts of the journey in a sweat.  Several penguins turned from their icy ways and a few whales blubbered through salvation.  Overall, I was blessed to see air and nature almost as pure as me.  It was a vision of Heaven.

Argentina.  In making my way home from this southernmost excursion, I was blessed to travel through Buenos Aires, Argentina.  While I saw no sluts on balconies, I bore witness to the fervor of soccer fans.  Blessedly, I escaped the city before the final game between Argentina and France.  I do regret not being able to lay hands on many of those gathered.  I would have fallen to my knees in service but would have greatly risked getting trampled in the crowds.  The things I do for my ministry!

Ass.  As we approach this Christmas celebration, let us give thanks for the gifts given to us.  Whether you receive material things or simply good news, this Christmas is for giving.  As I remember the birth of Baby Jesus, I don’t pine for 12 days of gifts.  But I will give thanks for four criminal charges against someone with three wives, two impeachments and the ass in his family tree.  Hallelujah!