It’s been a busy few days so far. Turn your eyes upon Jesus.
Barrels. It is my Christian duty to watch televised awards shows in order to pray more effectively for the filth that is being piped into our homes. Some awards shows are more family-friendly than others, but the bottom of the barrel HAS to be the Grammys. Such a filthy display of secular music, hoodlums and outlandish attire in one place. The networks should be ashamed. It seemed that it was a contest to see who could wear the most preposterous amalgam of fabrics on their body. I refuse to single out anyone in particular since it was all so heinous. I do want to praise two fine Sisters…..Sister Viola Davis for becoming a member of the Eternal God of Time club with her win. And Sister Beyonce (isn’t that B-11 in Mexican Bingo?) for now having so many Grammy awards, her dog doesn’t know which gramophone to look into to hear his master’s voice. Personally, I empathized with Brother Affleck in a mutual disdain for the entire affair.
Balloons. I haven’t seen such a fuss over a balloon since a couple in Colorado fooled us all into believing that their little boy was stuck in one. Why the Chinese felt the need to float a balloon of questionable purpose over our country is still to be decided. I will leave it to the professionals to resolve this issue. However, in my inspired wisdom, I will offer a few thoughts. Perhaps the Chinese were spying on us. Perhaps they were checking the weather over here. Perhaps the wind took the balloon off course and was heading to the Land of Oz. I guess we’ll know if and when the debris from it being shot down is recovered. But if that thing was carrying a message trying to reach me about my car warranty, I’ll beat an angry path to Beijing!
Bowls. After years of professional athletes thanking their Lord and Savior for gridiron victories, Jesus himself is taking to the airwaves during the Super Bowl. I told Him that I didn’t think this was a good PR move, but Jesus can be so stubborn. His “people” have bought up highly prized ad space during the Big Game to promote the Almighty with a message of “He Gets Us.” I remain to be impressed. Crass commercialism of the Gospel has never been well received. And when JC told me that the ads were being partially paid by the fine Christians at Hobby Lobby, it all became clear to me. Buy your DIY crucifixion supplies from them, or He’ll Get You! Gag me. Meet me at Michael’s for a couple of crosses and some thumbtacks.
