I’m on a rampage this week. Join me in this justifiable anger.
Drama. I am just bereft, BEREFT I tell you, over recent dramatic revelations at God’s Own Network, Fox News. Precious Brother Tucker Carlson has been revealed to have spoken untruths about his faith in our former President. While looking at all of us in the eye (of the camera), he praised #45 with such ardor that he practically gave the President a colonoscopy. Now, through uncovered text messages and such, we find that Brother Tucker actually hated the former commander-in-chief with quite an ardor. Yea, verily, TC appears to have known with his heart that declarations from his own mouth were of untruth. I just can’t believe it. How could such a reputable news source have LIED to us? I am on my knees beseeching for guidance. But if I find out that Rachel Maddox is not a Lesbyterian after all, I’m switching to Al Jazeera!
Drag. Let me jump on the bandwagon of the latest in the evangelical push for a return to morality. Drag. It is all I can do to type this without upchucking on my keyboard. Men dressed as women! Reading to children! Grooming the young! Lipsyncing the wrong words! This is ruining the moral fabric of our country regardless of the fabric worn by these clowns. Praise God that our Christian leaders are quick to pass laws against these modern day denizens of Sodom and Gomorrah, lest they be sidelined with less pressing issues like religious sex abuse, gun control or failing banks. I have half a mind to show up at my local elementary school to read the Bible to young children. Amen?
Dresses. Speaking of drag and fabrics, we’ve cleared another televised display of skin and bad taste. The Academy Awards broadcast was vomited into our living rooms on the evening of the last Sabbath. A veritable bacchanal of breasts and legs not seen since the last church supper of fried chicken. I couldn’t give a rat’s private parts about who was awarded what. We need to pray about what is considered the bounds of good taste in “moral fabrics.” Men in pink jackets, women in dresses of in flagrante delicto proportions, underwear in full view and more jewelry than a TV evangelist asking for money. But the one thing that really got in my craw was some black person IN THE AUDIENCE wearing a manufactured cloud over their head. As God as my witness, if I’d have had to sit behind that, I’d have pulled scissors out of my purse. But upon reflection, that might have been the best seat in the house so I wouldn’t have had to see most of the trash on stage.
