Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Thomas, Tupperware & Tibet.

Personal testimony begins our prayer time this week.

Thomas.  Alas, I have a direct connection to a current issue in our country.  I have ministered to Brother Harlan Crow on several occasions here in Dallas when I have been with the rich and unafflicted.  Heretofore, I have had a good Christian relationship with Brother Crow and have brought much healing laughter to him.  Now, the word is out that he’s been extending the wallet of Christian benevolence to Brother Clarence Thomas as one of his own dear friends.  This does present an ethical conundrum when one is close friends with a member of the Supreme Court.  As a service to my country, I’m going to ask Harlan to prayerfully consider redirecting his largesse away from Brother Clarence and focusing it all on me instead.  It’s the least I can do.

Tupperware.  There is much rending of clothing and gnashing of teeth in the world of church-covered dish feasts.  While many fine Babatists have dined on home-cooked delicacies served up in a name-labeled Pyrex dish, it is more often the case that Christian sustenance is served in all manner of Tupperware containers.  News is spreading that Tupperware is on the brink of financial ruin.  What will we do?  Hoard empty butter tubs?  This is a cause for a circling of the prayer wagons.  Let us pray that the fine folk at Tupperware recover from this monetary ailment and reclaim their place as the culinary sidecar for church suppers.  Let us also pray that they no longer allow home party sales to be led by men dressed as women.  This could be where the problem starts.  And I’m not just whistling Dixie.

Tibet.  When heathens worship false idols, trouble shall ensue.  While Jesus has never let me down and shown Himself to be inappropriate, the same can surely not be said for Brother Dolly Llama.  So many revere this alleged spiritual leader and make pilgrimages to be in his presence.  Some, recently in his presence, observed him being downright filthy with a young boy.  (Similar encounters made by Babatist music and youth ministers shall be ignored for the time being.)  What could possibly be godly about asking a young male to “suck your tongue?”  Yes, Jesus said “Suffer the little children to come to me.”  But Brother Llama clearly exhorted a little child to come and suffer.  Disgusting.  At least he didn’t invite the youth Tibet…