Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Out Of Office: AI Takeover, Day 1

Like many Americans, we’re on vacation this week and looking forward to a little rest and relaxation away from the heat of Dallas. (We’re in Alaska, so that shouldn’t be an issue.)

Because we’re feeling particularly lazy this year, we decided to get a little help from ChatGPT to create stories for us so we don’t have to toil away writing while we await our next dog sled. The results are, well, interesting.

We also enlisted the help of Microsoft Bing’s AI Image Generator to supplement each post this week.

Hopefully, we at least have some job security.

Read on for a fun little story—completely unedited—about the new Hamburger Mary’s in Oak Lawn:

Once upon a time, in the vibrant Oak Lawn neighborhood of Dallas, Texas, there was a lively restaurant called Hamburger Mary’s. This place was not your ordinary burger joint—it was home to the fabulous and fierce drag queen, Liquor Mini.

Liquor Mini, with her sparkling personality and sassy attitude, was the star of Hamburger Mary’s. Every night, she would grace the stage with her impeccable lip-syncing skills and killer dance moves, leaving the audience in awe. But Liquor Mini had a secret weapon that made her performances even more memorable—her loyal army of clown waiters.

Yes, you heard it right—clown waiters! Hamburger Mary’s had a tradition of hiring waiters dressed as colorful and mischievous clowns, adding a playful touch to the dining experience. These clowns would waltz around the tables, making balloon animals, cracking jokes, and bringing smiles to everyone’s faces.

One evening, as Liquor Mini was getting ready for her grand performance, chaos ensued in the kitchen. The burger patties were flipping too high, the fries were escaping from the fryer, and the milkshakes were doing somersaults. The head chef was at a loss, unsure of how to handle the madness.

That’s when Liquor Mini, donning her extravagant wig and sequined gown, sauntered into the kitchen, her stilettos clacking against the tiles. With a flick of her wrist, she grabbed a frying pan and started singing, “I Will Survive” at the top of her lungs. Miraculously, the kitchen chaos turned into a synchronized dance routine. The burgers danced on the grill, the fries pirouetted in the air, and even the milkshakes grooved in harmony.

As Liquor Mini performed her impromptu kitchen extravaganza, the clown waiters couldn’t resist joining in. They tumbled, joggled, and juggled their way into the kitchen, forming a hilarious circus act. The kitchen had transformed into a spectacular stage where burgers became acrobats, fries became contortionists, and milkshakes twirled like ballerinas.

The customers, who were unaware of the culinary circus happening behind the scenes, were in for a surprise. As they enjoyed their meals, they were greeted by clown waiters who couldn’t help but sprinkle a little extra laughter and joy onto their plates. The diners found themselves in the midst of a whimsical dining experience they would never forget.

By the time Liquor Mini strutted onto the stage, the kitchen had returned to its normal state, as if the culinary circus had never happened. The audience roared with laughter and applause, not knowing the magical chaos that had unfolded moments before.

Hamburger Mary’s in Oak Lawn continued to be the place where Liquor Mini reigned supreme and clown waiters added a delightful twist to the dining experience. It was a restaurant where laughter filled the air, and where even the most ordinary meal became an extraordinary adventure.

And so, the legend of Hamburger Mary’s, Liquor Mini, and the clown waiters lived on, reminding us all to embrace the unexpected, laugh with abandon, and celebrate the joy that can be found in the most unlikely places.

Story by ChatGPT, Photos by Microsoft Bing