Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Price, Purity & Peaches.

Thoughts and Prayers, People.

Price.  I always try to remember the saints who pass on when I write this column.  I also have commented on a few sinners’ demise as well, but not this time.  Brother Bob Barker, a staple of wholesome television entertainment, was called home recently, just shy of his 100th birthday.  His early years of hosting the TV game show, “Truth or Consequences,” always reminded me of a gospel lesson.  Accept the Truth of Christ or Suffer the Consequences!  But most will always associate him with encouraging average people to act the fool and test their pricing knowledge on “The Price is Right.”  So many living room sets, refrigerators and cans of tuna changing hands in a stroke of luck.  Often, A NEW CAR would be bestowed upon the price-conscious.  I had some slight issues with his buxom models on the show, but so did Brother Bob, according to court records.  Bless Brother Barker for bringing happiness to so many.  I would like to think that the Lord Himself shouted for BB to “come on up” to glory.  And may he be met by thousands of house pets eager to speak to him about certain surgical procedures.

Purity.  Brothers and Sisters, I attended the wedding of two sodomites this past weekend.  I felt certain that I would be the only person of faith in attendance, but the Lord proved me wrong.  One of the followers of my ministry, country singer Brother Ty Herndon, married his boyfriend (!!) on a farm outside of Nashville.  Rain ensued causing a scramble to relocate the outdoor ceremony.  The crops loved it, but there were some highly inconvenienced homoseculars up in arms.  Nonetheless, the ceremony was witnessed by a host of loved ones.  I, personally, was blessed to see two fine Christian musicians in attendance with whom I made sure to share oral testimony.  Sister Reba Rambo (look her up, sinners!) and I broke bread together, and precious Michael Passons, formerly with the group Avalon (look him up, sodomites!) touched each other with the love of Christ.  Sister Kristen Chenoweth bore witness to the ceremony along with Sister Sally Struthers who took up an offering for starving children.  Blessings to Brothers Ty and Alex as they begin wedded bliss.  I pray that their wedding night carnal interactions were tender, since I’m SURE that they were pure and waited for marriage.  Glory!

Peaches.  All this talk about mug shots lately.  Why is it news?  I drink coffee almost every morning, but whether I put a shot of espresso in my mug doesn’t seem like news.  Perhaps if sinners are putting shots of alcohol in the mug, I would find it newsworthy enough to judge these sots, but that’s a stretch.  Apparently, these mug additions are rampant in the State of Georgia as of late.  Let’s just hope there’s nothing more than peach juice being shot into hot coffee or tea in the mugs of Georgia.  We need to focus on bigger issues.