Condoms can be a delightfully erotic part of sex with other guys.
But nothing’s more of a buzzkill than putting on a condom that’s too tight. Or worse, too big.
Why is this important to bring up today, February 1? It’s the fifth annual National Measure A Penis Day, that’s why! (We’re taking this as an opportunity to give back to the community by volunteering our measuring services. Call us selfless.)
If you don’t wish to partake in our length-checking services, simply measure your own meat (damn, that sounded really straight didn’t it?), size up your schlong (hmm, still pretty hetero), estimate your erection (getting better), gauge your girth (liking it!), or calculate your cock (enough already).
If you own a printer, you can print out this handy guide and hold up your hard-on (geez, we can’t stop) or get out an old-school measuring tape and wrangle your wangle.
Once you’ve measured the length and girth, simply enter the information. Computer magic ensures you get the best fit you’ve ever had by generating a specific code that correlates to one of 52 different condom sizes (set a goal of meeting one different size a week for an entire year!)
As long as you’re honest with your measurements, you’ll be amazed at the quality fit.
The results will leave you amazed. This could be your best condom experience ever.
Of course, they have a ton of other condoms, too, that may also suit you just right.
In addition to totally being enamored with our custom-fit pecker protector, we’re pretty sure we’ve found our new go-to lube in their Move Personal Lubricant. The long-lasting silicone formula definitely holds out longer than we can.
Best of all, each lube bottle meets carry-on guidelines.
Which will come in quite handy if you’re frisked by a hunky TSA agent about to take his coffee break.