Put Some Gay In Your Day!

The 701 Club

Sister Helen Holy of the First Southern Fried, Self-Satisfied Baptist Church, the arbiter of all that is moral and chaste, shares her perspective on current events. When not ministering to heathens at events on dry land nationwide, she can frequently be found taking her ministry to the high seas on RSVP Cruises, where she spends most of the week on her knees “in prayer.” Why 701? Well, because she’s just a little bit better than that other Christian newscast.

Snuff, Sniff, Snafu

Let us turn our eyes towards Heaven as we fall on our knees about these earthly concerns. Snuff.  I must pause to reflect on the recent news out of Paris.  […]

Baylor, Border, Butt

I don’t know about you, but I’ve had a lot on my mind.  Join me in prayer, won’t you? Baylor.  Ladies in sports always conjures up images of handsome women.  […]

Mothers, Mexicans & Mueller

Buckle up, Sinners.  It’s a bumpy week! Mothers.  Just when I think we can’t get any closer to the apocalypse, something startles me even more.  This news out of Omaha.  […]

Boeing, Bobby & Barbra

Back to business. I am on fire for the world this week. Boeing. As a woman who must often travel to mission events via air travel, I have been bereft […]

Crazy Christian Carnality

I have some very simple statements this week.  Be ye touched. Crazy.  Here’s an intriguing headline.  “Kellyanne Conway’s husband is trying to tell the public Trump is mentally ill.  She […]

Scribbling, Shopping & Selfie-ing

I’m a little cranky this week since I lost an hour of sleep on Saturday. Scribbling.  I simply must comment on a story of biblical importance.  While visiting tornado victims […]

Conservatives, Cohen & Conference

A couple of doses of politics and a big swig of religion. Conservatives.  As an upstanding Christian woman, I have a keen interest in the annual Conservative Political Action Conference.  […]

Tasteless, Taken & Tongues

Time to review televisions annual biggest display of degradation. Tasteless. Once again, the mother of all awards shows has come and gone and left a tasteless film of filth (filth of […]

Fans, Farts & Farce

We need some silliness this week. Fans.  I have long been familiar with the various types of themed charters of ships on the high seas. Nudist charters (not enough Purell in […]

Suffering, Suffragettes, & Suffice

My heart is heavy this week. Suffering.  I am never remiss in my condemnation of Hollyweird awards shows.  However, after the portion of the Grammys which I suffered through Sunday […]