Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

The 701 Club

Sister Helen Holy of the First Southern Fried, Self-Satisfied Baptist Church is the arbiter of all that’s good and Christian in this world. When not ministering to heathens at events on dry land nationwide, she can frequently be found taking her ministry to the high seas on cruises with VACAYA Vacations, where she spends most of the week on her knees “in prayer.” Be sure to follow Sister Helen Holy on Facebook at www.facebook.com/helen.holy and on Instagram at @sisterhelenholy. Why 701? Well, because she’s just a little bit better than that other Christian newscast.

Liz. Lilibet. Liftoff.

Points to ponder. Liz. Sister Liz Cheney is back in the news beating her drum of disdain for our former President. Of the belief that he was the one who incited the January 6 Capitol insurrection, she has proclaimed, “I think what Donald Trump did is the most dangerous thing, the most egregious violation of an oath of office of any president […]

GOP. Gavin. Gays.

Things that make you think, Gee…………. GOP.  I have no idea who originally came up with the moniker of Grand Old Party (GOP) for the Repugnicants.  Also, who assigned the elephant as the mascot?  I’d like to offer my own thoughts here.  Grand is really short for Grandiose since so many of today’s Party leaders have delusions of such.  And […]

Bucks, Buckets & Bucknell.

The buck stops here this week. Bucks.  Conservative, evangelical Christians have long turned to one man for financial advice. Brother Dave Ramsey. With his folksy demeanor and professed Christian faith, he is the savings savior for the saved. It’s always a blessing to hear Christians of meager means testify as to how they’ve followed Brother Dave’s advice and been able to refinance their […]

Medina, Ministry & Masks.

The Lord has spoken to me this week in these ways. Medina.  After the recent Kentucky Derby horse race (gambling!!), it was revealed that the winning horse tested positive for a high level of an anti-inflammatory drug.  Listen, I’ve been known to down more than my fair share of Aleve, but it’s never disqualified me from spreading the gospel.  Nonetheless, […]

Guilty. Gates. Greek.

Circle the prayer wagons! Guilty.  The GOP (Repugnicans) are truly at war within.  Politicians once seen as conservative are now pariahs in their own party for being too “liberal.”  The latest to hang in the balance is Sister Liz Cheney (not to be confused with her sibling, Lez Cheney).  Because Sister Cheney has dared to defy former president he-who-shall-not-be-named, she […]

Celluloid. Circus. Census.

I have been led to share these concerns with you all this week. Celluloid.  I had to wait a couple of extra months before I could pass my annual judgment on the celluloid cavalcade of back-slapping known as the Academy Awards. How does one make such ado over a bunch of films we had to welcome into our own homes instead […]

Mondale, Marijuana & Misreadings

Join me in prayer this week over these troubled waters. Mondale.  Another political figure of note has passed on the great campaign above.  Brother Walter “Fritz” Mondale served as Vice President to that Godly Babatist, Brother Jimmy Carter, and then ran for President himself in 1984 with his history-making female running mate, Sister Geraldine Ferraro.  While this 1984 ticket did […]

A Publication, A Prince & A Pastor.

I am pleased to share a positive message of hope this week. Publication.  Brother John Boehner is one of those political characters from the past administration who blur in my mind among all the others.  I know he was a snake, a snitch and a snooze in some part of government.  Regardless, he is now attempting to paint himself as […]

Vaccine, Visage & Victory!

Witness here the movings of our Lord among us. Vaccine.  I’d like to address a news item which I believe sullies the name of good Christians like myself.  Apparently, there is a trend among White Evangelical Christians to NOT get vaccinated against the Crayolavirus.  The reasons are myriad, but include “the vaccine contained aborted cell tissue,” “God was the ultimate […]

Christians, Commandments & Canals.

Let us gather in prayer over these thoughts. Christians.  I follow sports about like I follow the comings and goings of the citizens of Jakarta.  I’m sure it’s fascinating, but I just couldn’t care less.  However, when I heard that fine Christian schools have basketball teams playing in some sort of bracketed championship, I pay heed.  The Lord led the […]