Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

The 701 Club

Sister Helen Holy of the First Southern Fried, Self-Satisfied Baptist Church is the arbiter of all that’s good and Christian in this world. When not ministering to heathens at events on dry land nationwide, she can frequently be found taking her ministry to the high seas on cruises with VACAYA Vacations, where she spends most of the week on her knees “in prayer.” Be sure to follow Sister Helen Holy on Facebook at www.facebook.com/helen.holy and on Instagram at @sisterhelenholy. Why 701? Well, because she’s just a little bit better than that other Christian newscast.

CPAC. Sparks. Space.

Let us continue to look up. CPAC.  As you may have heard, the Conservative Political Action Conference held its annual event this past weekend here in my home base of Dallas.  What a blessing to have such fine conservative people gathering just minutes from my own home.  Siste…………uh…….Caitlyn Jenner was in attendance and was ministered to in an impromptu tête-à-tête […]

Free, Freestyle & Freedom.

Let us be free! Free.  Break out the Jell-O!  Brother Bill Cosby has been released from prison and is now free to hawk pudding and gelatin.  Interesting, since both items are wobbly and soft.  Much like the way in which he was released, but I digress.  Brother Bill is looking forward to reappearing in the public eye by “working with […]

Hotel. Holding. Horrified.

I am in full perplexed mode this week. Hotel.  Some things just make me ask “why”?  It is reported that the highest hotel rooms in the world have just become available in a 2000-ft. tower in Shanghai.  Restful sleep is often referred to as “sleeping on a cloud”, but what about sleeping above the clouds?  On a clear day, I’m […]

Sojourn, Solstice & Sodomite.

Refreshed and ready to preach. Sojourn.  Brothers and Sister, I hope you’ll forgive the absence of this column last week.  I was away on a personal sojourn celebrating my birthday.  The Lord has granted me another year of abundant life to remain on this earth and spread the Word.  I will not reveal my age, as I don’t want to […]

Liz. Lilibet. Liftoff.

Points to ponder. Liz. Sister Liz Cheney is back in the news beating her drum of disdain for our former President. Of the belief that he was the one who incited the January 6 Capitol insurrection, she has proclaimed, “I think what Donald Trump did is the most dangerous thing, the most egregious violation of an oath of office of any president […]

GOP. Gavin. Gays.

Things that make you think, Gee…………. GOP.  I have no idea who originally came up with the moniker of Grand Old Party (GOP) for the Repugnicants.  Also, who assigned the elephant as the mascot?  I’d like to offer my own thoughts here.  Grand is really short for Grandiose since so many of today’s Party leaders have delusions of such.  And […]

Bucks, Buckets & Bucknell.

The buck stops here this week. Bucks.  Conservative, evangelical Christians have long turned to one man for financial advice. Brother Dave Ramsey. With his folksy demeanor and professed Christian faith, he is the savings savior for the saved. It’s always a blessing to hear Christians of meager means testify as to how they’ve followed Brother Dave’s advice and been able to refinance their […]

Medina, Ministry & Masks.

The Lord has spoken to me this week in these ways. Medina.  After the recent Kentucky Derby horse race (gambling!!), it was revealed that the winning horse tested positive for a high level of an anti-inflammatory drug.  Listen, I’ve been known to down more than my fair share of Aleve, but it’s never disqualified me from spreading the gospel.  Nonetheless, […]

Guilty. Gates. Greek.

Circle the prayer wagons! Guilty.  The GOP (Repugnicans) are truly at war within.  Politicians once seen as conservative are now pariahs in their own party for being too “liberal.”  The latest to hang in the balance is Sister Liz Cheney (not to be confused with her sibling, Lez Cheney).  Because Sister Cheney has dared to defy former president he-who-shall-not-be-named, she […]

Celluloid. Circus. Census.

I have been led to share these concerns with you all this week. Celluloid.  I had to wait a couple of extra months before I could pass my annual judgment on the celluloid cavalcade of back-slapping known as the Academy Awards. How does one make such ado over a bunch of films we had to welcome into our own homes instead […]