Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

The 701 Club

Sister Helen Holy of the First Southern Fried, Self-Satisfied Baptist Church is the arbiter of all that’s good and Christian in this world. When not ministering to heathens at events on dry land nationwide, she can frequently be found taking her ministry to the high seas on cruises with VACAYA Vacations, where she spends most of the week on her knees “in prayer.” Be sure to follow Sister Helen Holy on Facebook at www.facebook.com/helen.holy and on Instagram at @sisterhelenholy. Why 701? Well, because she’s just a little bit better than that other Christian newscast.

Carving. Communication. Commandment.

Scripture is our guide this week. Carving.  I am simply aghast at the links our esteemed president will go to extend his legacy. It has been revealed to all that brother Don reached out to the government of the state of South Dakota to inquire about having his own image carved into Mount Rushmore. I believe we as citizens should […]

Actress. Answer. Aroma.

Let us gather in remembrance and roses this week. Actress.  Lord, the angel of death has been moving amongst the famous.  Golden Age actress, Olivia de Havilland passed on in her sleep this past weekend at the advanced age of 104.  She must have been a true woman of God for the Lord to give her such a long life.  […]

Propriety, Prayer & Portraits

I beseech thee, behold these words of truth. Propriety.  These apocalyptic days of pandemic panic are resulting in unprecedented changes in daily life. Recently, this great country‘s largest retailer issued an edict that all patrons of its establishment outposts be required to wear facial masks in an effort to curb Crayolavirus infections. I would like to applaud the fine people […]

DeVos. Da Cross. Da Loss.

I’m a little wordy this week, but the Lord has been speaking through me. DeVos.  Let us begin with scripture.  Matthew 19:14, where Jesus said (in red letters) “Suffer the little children to come unto me.”  I have yet to find any version of the Bible where this is translated as “Let the little children come to suffer.”  And yet […]

Confusion. Calls. Kanye.

Let us bear one another’s burdens as we gather in prayer. Confusion.  With so much fuss over the broadcast of the program, Hamilton, I simply had to sit down in my arm chair and view this presentation, which I fully expected to be a documentary on the life of one of the actresses in the Wizard of Oz. Imagine my […]

Patriotism, Prudence & Pancakes

I’m going to take a conservative view of things this week. Patriotism.  Since Sunday, I have been asked repeatedly to weigh in, as a well-known Babatist, on the Celebrate Freedom service at First Baptist here in Dallas.  After much prayer and supplication, here are my thoughts.  I am not at all surprised that a political figure spoke from the pulpit of […]

Tulsa, Tulsa, Tulsa!

Let us revisit Northeastern Oklahoma. Rally.  I haven’t seen such a fuss about Tulsa since Oral Roberts died!  Our dear President was simply ecstatic about his planned rally in that great city last week.  Records had shown that it was going to be a sell out and an overflow area had been arranged.  Medical officials were aghast that most attendees […]

Ruling. Ramp. Rebuke.

Let us review the three “R”s this week. Ruling.  In another sign of these Book of Revelation times in which we are living, the Court of Supremes just ruled that sodomites, lesbyterians, buysexuals and transitories cannot be fired because of their orientation or identity.  Frankly, I don’t care what kind of orientation they attend as long as they’re learning something, […]

Sisters, Shows & Shepherds

We are making our way through the Book of Revelation.  Gird your loins of faith! Sisters.  Let us begin by noting the passing of another giant in the secular music world.  Sister Bonnie Pointer, founding member of the sister act bearing their last name, passed from this world of cardiac arrest.  (I’d like to point out the Pointer Sisters were […]

Crass. Christian. Christo.

I must find ways to lift us all up in these trying days. Crass.  I these days of social distancing, there seem to be as many opinions of how to do so as there are people.  However, I have been made aware of one group’s crass concerns upon which I simply must comment.  Nudists.  Nudists are having to re-think how […]