Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

The 701 Club

Sister Helen Holy of the First Southern Fried, Self-Satisfied Baptist Church is the arbiter of all that’s good and Christian in this world. When not ministering to heathens at events on dry land nationwide, she can frequently be found taking her ministry to the high seas on cruises with VACAYA Vacations, where she spends most of the week on her knees “in prayer.” Be sure to follow Sister Helen Holy on Facebook at www.facebook.com/helen.holy and on Instagram at @sisterhelenholy. Why 701? Well, because she’s just a little bit better than that other Christian newscast.

Roe, Ruling & Rally.

We are witnessing strange bedfellows this week. Roe. I’d like to thank Brother H.G. Wells for his influence on our nation’s highest court. So exciting was H.G.’s notion of a Time Machine, 6 of our 9 Justices have seen fit to turn this nation back almost 50 years. Hopefully, while we’re back in 1973, I can stop in on Brother […]

Sojourn. Solstice. So Hot!

Aging and aspects of Hell are heavy on my mind this week. Sojourn. Brothers and Sister, I hope you’ll forgive the absence of this column last week. I was ‎away on a personal sojourn celebrating my birthday. The Lord has granted me another year of ‎abundant life to remain on this earth and spread the Word. I will not reveal […]

Jubilee! Jubilee! Jubilee!

Let raise our voices in songs of Jubilee! Jubilee.  As a Christian and a Babatist, I celebrate the Kingdom of Heaven, the Reign of Our Lord and Savior, and His Royal Throne.  I await the mighty Jubilee in Heaven.  Hallelujah!  Alas, many here on earth have been caught up in celebrating the long reign of a mortal monarch overseas.  But […]

Grandstanding, Grinning & Grinding.

May thoughts and prayers lead to action.  Let us reflect. Grandstanding. As a result to the painfully tragic shooting here in my home state last week, I am following political leadership’s actions and reactions. I was particularly interested in the press conference held by our Governor soon after the melee where his offering of thoughts and prayers was intended to bring comfort […]

Prescription, Press & Perversion

This week’s prayers are a formula for pressing perversion. Prescription. I keep hearing that these is a shortage of baby formula. I truly did not know that there was a prescribed formula solution for making babies. Just add water to the powder? Nonetheless, I say let it continue. The less formula there is to create babies, the less we have to worry about […]

Grand, Gas & Grease.

Lord, hear these supplications. Grand.  This headline caught my eye:  “Prince Charles delivers Queen’s Speech.”  This can be read on so many different levels.  Is Prince Charles a Queen?  Is Prince Charles now a courier delivering messages?  I came to realize that Sister Queen Betty is under the weather and was unable to give her grand speech at the opening […]

Bridge. Brittany. Brief.

Let the women of scripture look down on these concerns. Bridge.  First, let us grieve for Sister Naomi Judd, a fine Christian woman and musician who passed from this earthly life.  While I may never know the circumstances of her journey to Heaven, I have long lifted her up in prayer for her fight with the devil of the mind […]

Fashion, Faces & Fairies.

Oh my! Fashion.  He is Risen!  I am renewed and rejuvenated after celebrating the resurrection of our Lord and ‎‎Savior this past Sunday.  I saw so few familiar faces at church, as the pews were filled with the ‎‎C&E Christians who only attend twice a year.  Moreover, this is also the Sunday when fashions ‎‎turn to more colorful hues and […]

Ginni. General. Jenner.

Offering conservative thoughts this week. Ginni.  I am so grateful for Godly women like Sister Ginni Thomas.  She is so faithful to her husband and his duties on the highest court in the land.  Beyond that, her love for her country knows no bounds.  One might just say that she has no boundaries.  Her recently discovered actions toward a full […]

SCOTUS. Screeching. Scrotum

Disgusting. Just disgusting. SCOTUS. I have been in prayer for Sister Ketanji Brown Jackson. Lately, every person nominated to the Supreme Court has been subject to questioning of biblical proportions before affirmation. KBJ was certainly no exception. However, I would like to recognize her fortitude in the face of some blithering commentary. Proving that we women can handle more thrown […]