Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

The 701 Club

Sister Helen Holy of the First Southern Fried, Self-Satisfied Baptist Church is the arbiter of all that’s good and Christian in this world. When not ministering to heathens at events on dry land nationwide, she can frequently be found taking her ministry to the high seas on cruises with VACAYA Vacations, where she spends most of the week on her knees “in prayer.” Be sure to follow Sister Helen Holy on Facebook at www.facebook.com/helen.holy and on Instagram at @sisterhelenholy. Why 701? Well, because she’s just a little bit better than that other Christian newscast.

Mondale, Marijuana & Misreadings

Join me in prayer this week over these troubled waters. Mondale.  Another political figure of note has passed on the great campaign above.  Brother Walter “Fritz” Mondale served as Vice President to that Godly Babatist, Brother Jimmy Carter, and then ran for President himself in 1984 with his history-making female running mate, Sister Geraldine Ferraro.  While this 1984 ticket did […]

A Publication, A Prince & A Pastor.

I am pleased to share a positive message of hope this week. Publication.  Brother John Boehner is one of those political characters from the past administration who blur in my mind among all the others.  I know he was a snake, a snitch and a snooze in some part of government.  Regardless, he is now attempting to paint himself as […]

Vaccine, Visage & Victory!

Witness here the movings of our Lord among us. Vaccine.  I’d like to address a news item which I believe sullies the name of good Christians like myself.  Apparently, there is a trend among White Evangelical Christians to NOT get vaccinated against the Crayolavirus.  The reasons are myriad, but include “the vaccine contained aborted cell tissue,” “God was the ultimate […]

Christians, Commandments & Canals.

Let us gather in prayer over these thoughts. Christians.  I follow sports about like I follow the comings and goings of the citizens of Jakarta.  I’m sure it’s fascinating, but I just couldn’t care less.  However, when I heard that fine Christian schools have basketball teams playing in some sort of bracketed championship, I pay heed.  The Lord led the […]

Sisterhood, Sin & Shelter.

It’s the Babatists vs. the Catholics this week. Sisterhood.  I daresay that there is no finer, devout Babatist woman than myself.  Perhaps no fine Christian, but let’s not split hairs.  Still, there is one woman in whose presence I stand amazed.  Evangelical Babatist, Christian and Bible teacher, Sister Beth Moore.  Her ministry has touched women the world over.  However, last […]

Royals, Remedies & Ridiculous.

Some prayerful commentary for your week. Royals.  I am a follower of the Prince of Peace and King of Kings.  I believe in the Lord of all.  These are the only royal titles which merit my attention.  Apparently, attention is being paid to a red-headed stepchild and his wife who are pouring out their dirty laundry to Sister Oprah.  I […]

Condemnation, Conference & Confusion.

Lord, we beseech Thee! Condemnation.  What a time it’s been here in Texas.  First, it was the failure of our electrical grid due in no small part to mismanagement by our Governor.  Now, our trusty Governor has decided to roll back all mask mandates and open all businesses to 100%.  This in spite of the fact that Texas is 48th […]

Ted. Taken. Taxes

Prayers are offered and answered. Ted.  My state senator, Brother Ted Cruz, will go to any lengths to keep his name in the papers.  His recent pleasure trip to visit the Mexicans while the rest of us were suffering through a deregulated electric industry gone awry was ill-conceived at best.  And the number of times his excuses and stories changed […]

Football, Flynt & Frozen.

Cold hard fact from my warm heart. Football.  Many of you are aware of my support of the ministry of brother J.J. Watt in Houston Texas. Brother Watt has been a very visible member of Houston’s professional football team, and he showed true Christian Mercy after the disaster of hurricane Harvey in that great city. His benevolence and mission outreach […]

GameStop, Gay & Greene

Be ye aware of the stirrings in this land. GameStop.  The moneychangers are being run out of the temple once again.  Those high and mighty who run hedge funds (which I always thought was a landscaping account) are losing their custom shirts at the hands of some adventurous penny-wise underlings.  Can you believe that these big money people actually make […]