Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

The 701 Club

Sister Helen Holy of the First Southern Fried, Self-Satisfied Baptist Church is the arbiter of all that’s good and Christian in this world. When not ministering to heathens at events on dry land nationwide, she can frequently be found taking her ministry to the high seas on cruises with VACAYA Vacations, where she spends most of the week on her knees “in prayer.” Be sure to follow Sister Helen Holy on Facebook at www.facebook.com/helen.holy and on Instagram at @sisterhelenholy. Why 701? Well, because she’s just a little bit better than that other Christian newscast.

Patriotism, Prudence & Pancakes

I’m going to take a conservative view of things this week. Patriotism.  Since Sunday, I have been asked repeatedly to weigh in, as a well-known Babatist, on the Celebrate Freedom service at First Baptist here in Dallas.  After much prayer and supplication, here are my thoughts.  I am not at all surprised that a political figure spoke from the pulpit of […]

Tulsa, Tulsa, Tulsa!

Let us revisit Northeastern Oklahoma. Rally.  I haven’t seen such a fuss about Tulsa since Oral Roberts died!  Our dear President was simply ecstatic about his planned rally in that great city last week.  Records had shown that it was going to be a sell out and an overflow area had been arranged.  Medical officials were aghast that most attendees […]

Ruling. Ramp. Rebuke.

Let us review the three “R”s this week. Ruling.  In another sign of these Book of Revelation times in which we are living, the Court of Supremes just ruled that sodomites, lesbyterians, buysexuals and transitories cannot be fired because of their orientation or identity.  Frankly, I don’t care what kind of orientation they attend as long as they’re learning something, […]

Sisters, Shows & Shepherds

We are making our way through the Book of Revelation.  Gird your loins of faith! Sisters.  Let us begin by noting the passing of another giant in the secular music world.  Sister Bonnie Pointer, founding member of the sister act bearing their last name, passed from this world of cardiac arrest.  (I’d like to point out the Pointer Sisters were […]

Crass. Christian. Christo.

I must find ways to lift us all up in these trying days. Crass.  I these days of social distancing, there seem to be as many opinions of how to do so as there are people.  However, I have been made aware of one group’s crass concerns upon which I simply must comment.  Nudists.  Nudists are having to re-think how […]

Prayers, Pews & Pools

My faith is challenged more and more these days. Prayers.  The Lord’s faithful are being tested to great consternation.  I was particularly bereaved by a local mayor/Church of Christ pastor here in Texas whose recent proclamation on prayer tested my restraint of pen and tongue.  When asked if a group of Christian youth could attend and pray at a city […]

Miss, Mammon, Morbid.

Each week, I am given an opportunity to bear witness to current events.  Behold. Miss.  They say that beauty never dies, but that was put to the test this past week with the death of Sister Phyllis George.  As a Texas pageant queen, her wholesome beauty and talent elevated her to Miss America in 1971.  Followed by a career in […]

Donald, Dallas & Duos

Speaking to you from behind a mask which does not prevent wisdom from escaping. Donald.  The crayolavirus response at the House of White has been lacking in its example to the American people.  Our leader believes that he is invincible (Lincoln and Kennedy are on line 1) and therefore needs take no precaution.  Now that the virus has waltzed into […]

Heartfelt. Hornets. Hollywood.

I may have a mask on, but my lips shall still confess! Heartfelt.  Former President George W. Bush issued a video this past week as a panacea for the current American condition.  It was heartfelt, compassionate and comforting.  When our land is being comforted by a heretofore regarded Texas yahoo, I must repeat that we prepare the way of the […]

Lies, Lysol & Lyrics

The L Words. Lies.  The media continues to barrage our President and Vice-President with accusations of lies.  Shame on them!  Why would our elected leaders lie to us?  Alas, after counsel with some members of my church, I had to leave open the possibility that some untruths have been uttered from some leaves on the executive branch.  Rumor has it […]