Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

The 701 Club

Sister Helen Holy of the First Southern Fried, Self-Satisfied Baptist Church is the arbiter of all that’s good and Christian in this world. When not ministering to heathens at events on dry land nationwide, she can frequently be found taking her ministry to the high seas on cruises with VACAYA Vacations, where she spends most of the week on her knees “in prayer.” Be sure to follow Sister Helen Holy on Facebook at www.facebook.com/helen.holy and on Instagram at @sisterhelenholy. Why 701? Well, because she’s just a little bit better than that other Christian newscast.

Sisterhood, Sin & Shelter.

It’s the Babatists vs. the Catholics this week. Sisterhood.  I daresay that there is no finer, devout Babatist woman than myself.  Perhaps no fine Christian, but let’s not split hairs.  Still, there is one woman in whose presence I stand amazed.  Evangelical Babatist, Christian and Bible teacher, Sister Beth Moore.  Her ministry has touched women the world over.  However, last […]

Royals, Remedies & Ridiculous.

Some prayerful commentary for your week. Royals.  I am a follower of the Prince of Peace and King of Kings.  I believe in the Lord of all.  These are the only royal titles which merit my attention.  Apparently, attention is being paid to a red-headed stepchild and his wife who are pouring out their dirty laundry to Sister Oprah.  I […]

Condemnation, Conference & Confusion.

Lord, we beseech Thee! Condemnation.  What a time it’s been here in Texas.  First, it was the failure of our electrical grid due in no small part to mismanagement by our Governor.  Now, our trusty Governor has decided to roll back all mask mandates and open all businesses to 100%.  This in spite of the fact that Texas is 48th […]

Ted. Taken. Taxes

Prayers are offered and answered. Ted.  My state senator, Brother Ted Cruz, will go to any lengths to keep his name in the papers.  His recent pleasure trip to visit the Mexicans while the rest of us were suffering through a deregulated electric industry gone awry was ill-conceived at best.  And the number of times his excuses and stories changed […]

Football, Flynt & Frozen.

Cold hard fact from my warm heart. Football.  Many of you are aware of my support of the ministry of brother J.J. Watt in Houston Texas. Brother Watt has been a very visible member of Houston’s professional football team, and he showed true Christian Mercy after the disaster of hurricane Harvey in that great city. His benevolence and mission outreach […]

GameStop, Gay & Greene

Be ye aware of the stirrings in this land. GameStop.  The moneychangers are being run out of the temple once again.  Those high and mighty who run hedge funds (which I always thought was a landscaping account) are losing their custom shirts at the hands of some adventurous penny-wise underlings.  Can you believe that these big money people actually make […]

Lies, Lust & Last

Perversity is all around us in varying forms. Lies.  I am quite dismayed at so many stories coming out in the news about apparent perverse lies which Brother Trump was telling during his reign.  Lies about the Crayola virus.  Lies about voting irregularities.  Lies about election outcomes.  Lies about his hair.  One media source says that he lied 30573 times […]

Biden, Biden, Biden!

And behold, a new day dawns. Biden.  I had to hold my column for a day this week because I knew that Wednesday would be a big day. The pomp and circumstance of the inauguration of our 46th president did not disappoint. However, I would like to comment on a couple of things. First of all, Sister Woman Gaga gave […]

Sedition. Sashay. Salacious.

Lord, hear the cried of your people.  No, not THOSE people. Sedition.  The last week, I have been in my prayer closet so much, my hair smells like mothballs!  Lord, hear us!  Listen, as a Christian, I appreciate passion for a cause more than some do.  So many are dismayed that the man they believe to be “ordained by God” […]

Fashion, Flash & Fraud.

My end of year musings. Fashion.  I don’t normally recognize, with grace, famous sodomites on their passing, but I’m making an exception.  Brother Pierre Cardin left this world after a full 98 years of life.  I honor him for the beauty he bestowed on our world.  I certainly would never have worn anything he designed (I’m far too rigid), but […]