Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

The 701 Club

Sister Helen Holy of the First Southern Fried, Self-Satisfied Baptist Church is the arbiter of all that’s good and Christian in this world. When not ministering to heathens at events on dry land nationwide, she can frequently be found taking her ministry to the high seas on cruises with VACAYA Vacations, where she spends most of the week on her knees “in prayer.” Be sure to follow Sister Helen Holy on Facebook at www.facebook.com/helen.holy and on Instagram at @sisterhelenholy. Why 701? Well, because she’s just a little bit better than that other Christian newscast.

Brands, Bands & Burrows.

My Christian perspective on Sunday evening’s gridiron travesty. Brands.  While sitting at Luby’s having supper, I caught a few commercials during the Bowl of Superiority on the TV.  I find it hard to believe that some companies struggle to pay a living wage while spending millions of dollars for a minute of advertising fame.  Sister Anna Kendrick looked completely cracked […]

Tables, Tramps & Travel.

It’s just a trashy week.  Pray with me. Tables.  This seems to have fallen into the cracks of newsworthy items, but I feel the need to address it.  Former President #45 has a book out entitled “Our Journey Together”. Like other Presidential tomes, this one is in hardback form.  UNLIKE other Presidential tomes, it is a “coffee table” book of […]

Super, Snow & Steed.

I’m on fire for the Lord this week! Super.  It is rare that I get riled up about professional sports, but sometimes it merits my commentary.  Such is the case of the upcoming Bowl of Superiority.  It is my understanding that this is the Easter Sunrise Service of football games.  Dare I say, the Billy Graham Crusade of the gridiron.  […]

Me. Meatloaf. Mean.

Grateful to be back in this literary ministry this week! Me. Brothers and Sisters, please forgive my recent absence from this column.  One week, I was on a high-seas ministry laying hands on the fallen. Apparently, I didn’t bring enough Purell and was stricken with a mild case of the Omnicom Crayolavirus. I am rebounding and prepared to share the Word with you […]

Better, Besotted & Betty.

A new year is before us!  2021 was a rough ride, but let us reflect on the way 2022 is starting. Better.  We have survived another year and, more importantly, another New Year’s Eve.  The night when all hell seems to break loose, and thousands of seemingly moral people lose all control of sobriety.  After which, in an attitude of […]

The Best of 2021

Brothers and Sister, I have prayed about how the Lord spoke through me this year and feel the need to share with you what I believe to be my best stories of 2021, in chronological order by month.  I’ll leave to each of your own prayer lives to decide your favorite. January.  I have read many news stories testifying as […]

Union, Union, Union.

We are approaching the birthday of our Lord.  You should already be on your knees. Union.  The heavens cried out this past weekend as the most recent former President was in my hometown on a mission trip.  Before speaking to his followers in a stadium, he made a personal appearance behind the pulpit of First Baptist Church Dallas.  There he […]

Nesmith, Newsome & Neptune.

I’m on fire for the Lord this week. Nesmith.  Let us pause for prayer for Brother Michael Nesmith.  There will be legions who will not know his name, but for those souls of the 60s, he was a member of BeatlesLight, otherwise known as The Monkees.  I confess to having sinful thoughts about a certain British Monkee in my unrepentant […]

Strains, Sluts & Spirit.

I have been rending my clothing this week over these things. Strains.  I was really surprised at the lengths that certain PR/Advertising firms would go to promote their services.  I am of the opinion that Omnicom is a big enough entity that they don’t have to buy naming rights for a new strain of the Crayolavirus.  I mean really……why would […]

Greats. Gimme. Governance.

Let us pray. Greats.  Let us note the passing of another of the greats, yet a non-Christian.  Brother Stephen Sondheim left this mortal coil at the age of 91 after a lifetime of words and music bestowed upon the theater.  I don’t know exactly where his next life is since only Babatists are assuredly going to heaven, but I trust […]