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Must Read: Columnists

Peach, Pay & Purse

The glories of current events are prevailing upon us. Peach.  I try not to pay too much attention to Sister Nancy Pelosi since she is such a liberal, but I hear she’s doing something worth noting.  It always takes a woman’s touch to bring taste and décor to any surrounding.  Now, in the biggest act of structural beautification since Jackie […]

Off And Running

OFF AND RUNNING Unless you’ve been hiding somewhere off the grid—and there’s some good reasons to do just that—it isn’t news that Nancy Pelosi announced the beginning of a formal impeachment inquiry into Donald Trump and his now infamous July 25 phone call with Ukrainian President Zelensky, as well as his administration’s attempts to cover up the whistleblower complaint that […]

Da Vinci, Da Value, Da Volvo

The Lord has spoken to me this week. And he had a Brooklyn accent. Da Vinci.  Let us rejoice that the final filthy awards show of the year has passed us.  Television gave out its statues for alleged excellence this past weekend.  I noticed a distinct theme of debauchery this year.  Brother Billy Porter became the first black, avowed sodomite […]

Reality, Renovation, Remembrance.

Hearken ye to the Lord’s wisdom imparted unto thee from my pen. Reality.  There are so many reasons why I rarely watch television.  Most of them involve the overabundance of “reality” shows which just make me gag.  The things people will do for alleged fame.  As a lifelong Babatist, I have always eschewed dancing, so the idea of a dancing […]

I Can Drive 55

Well, it seems you can teach an old dog new tricks. Maybe not the four-legged variety, although I know just the dog whisperer par excellence if you need one. But one of the two-footed kind, whose right one is way heavier than the left. It may be hard to imagine today when oil companies have such influence in Washington, but […]

Pens, Palins & Prohibitions

Hear ye, O Heathens, these musings of my ministry. Pens. From our business desk comes news of an uptick in stock prices for Newell Brands, Inc., makers of Sharpie pens. Sales of Sharpies have increased, particularly in the Washington, DC, market. While there is speculation as to the cause of this sales increase, business seemed to pick up around the time of Hurricane […]

A Queen Speaks

Saying that no one can throw shade like a queen leaves one open to the charge of stating the obvious, kind of like the newscasters this week telling us that the barrier islands affected by Hurricane Dorian are surrounded by water. (Perhaps they are looking for a job in the Trump administration.)  And, before anyone jumps up my backside, I’m […]

Horsemen. Harper. Hurricane.

So many reasons to kneel at the throne of grace. Horsemen.  The Lord moves in mysterious ways.  Precious little Justin Bieber has the voice of the Lord calling him to ministry.  Just last week, Brother Bieber led the sermon for the Wednesday prayer meeting service at Churchome in Beverly Hills.  (Clearly one of those non-denominational congregations that can’t commit to […]

There She Is, Or Is It He?

With the final word coming down from the DNC that there are ten candidates who qualified to participate in the September 12 Democratic presidential debate, it was as if I was transported back to those childhood days watching Miss America.  As anyone who has ever watched pageants knows, the real show doesn’t start until we’re down to the semi-finalists. That’s […]

Blasphemy, Billionaire & Ballet.

Busy week.  Let’s get busy on our knees. Blasphemy.  Oh, Donnie.  Where do I start this week?  Your orations continue to exalt your own ineptitude.  Now you’ve blasphemed that you are the “Chosen One” thus causing some of your followers to believe you are the “second coming of God.”  First of all, whether a spirit of facetiousness gripped you in […]