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Must Read: Columnists

The 701 Club: Backstreet, Backwoods & Blackless

Let us turn our eyes to the filth and degradation in the entertainment business. Clearly, these people need my touch. Backstreet: Former Backstreet Boy, Nick Carter, was arrested in Key West for allegedly berating a bartender and punching a bouncer at a club. Poor Brother Nicky. Never has been able to cope with being a has-been boy band member. Turning […]

Powerball Fever

By the time you read this, the Powerball numbers for the $1,500,000,000 (doesn’t that look bigger than $1.5 billion?) lottery will have been drawn. Meaning that this column will be either the most prescient or the most immediately outdated column I’ve written. But here goes… I’d like to offer up to the Lottery Gods why I should win the jackpot. […]

The 701 Club: Balls, Bisexuals & Bowie

This week, dear followers, I am tackling sin rampant in our world. And offering remembrance on a light gone out. Balls: The sin of gambling has taken root in our country and millions of greedy Americans are in its branches. While it is true that I, as a Christian, am taking a gamble on morality every time I turn on […]

Don’t Complain; Don’t Explain

How are those New Year’s resolutions going for you? Not so good? I resolved to address my co-dependent relationship with carbs, but that’s hard to do when there’s leftover croquembouche in the kitchen. So, I’m going to focus on something that requires even more willpower. Here goes. Don’t complain; don’t explain. This seemingly simply maxim has been attributed to everyone from Disraeli to Ford […]

The 701 Club: Guns, Goons & Gowns

2016! A new year is before us! Unfortunately, the sins of this world don’t give a crap. Here we go with more filth in our midst. Guns: 2016 has brought us a new law sure to cause consternation. As of January 1, it is now legal in many states to openly carry a gun or firearm in public. I’ve been praying […]

The 701 Club: Las Vegas, Losers & Lindsey

As we celebrate this Christmas, let us turn our hearts and thoughts to some unfortunate happenings in the world around us. Las Vegas: Let us join our hearts in prayer for the victims of the awful tragedy where a driver ran down people on the streets of Las Vegas on Sunday. The city was packed with tourists as usual, but […]

The 701 Club: Baskets, Birthdays & Benchmarks

Even in this holy season, we must remain steadfast in our observations of sin in the world. Join me in this week’s reflections. Baskets: Sodomy and corruption are creeping into all corners of this precious world. NOW, we have an NBA referee admitting to being a sodomite. Lord help us all. A world where very tall men dribble, play with […]

I’m Not Acting

I was disappointed this week when the Screen Actors Guild nominations were announced, and some recent television performances did not make the cut. First off, how could Donald Trump’s performance as lead actor in a reality series (which is rather an oxymoron) be overlooked? The show has been on CNN, MSNBC and Fox on a daily basis for months. Part […]

The 701 Club: Sheets, Schumer & Shenanigans

Gather ‘round all ye sinners and hear my voice of wisdom in this desert of our world. Sheets: Presidential candidate, Donald Trump, has just suggested a ban on ALL Muslin entering our country. Now, I have to admit, I love a good high thread count sheet, but to ban all lesser count sheets into our country is really a bit […]